My parents think I'm twelve.

So I was on my laptop the other day, surfing the net as usual, when I noticed something strange. When I went to check my Facebook, I received a blank screen that read:

"Web Site Blocked by Filter."

I refreshed the page.

"Web Site Blocked by Filter."

I disconnected from the internet and reconnected.

"Web Site Blocked by Filter."

I restarted my computer.

"Web Site Blocked by Filter."

....My dad blocked Facebook on my computer.

At the ripe old age of 19, I cannot access Facebook without permission from my parents.

Fo' real.

The funny part is I don't even care. I think it's hilarious, actually. My parents think that

Facebook rules such a huge part of my life that I'll inevitably crumble into the social dark ages without it. I'm sure they were expecting a shit storm of a tantrum when I found out, but I've just ignored it thus far. It's really puzzling my dad, who assumed I spent 99.9999% of my time drooling over my news feed.

It's not like he was punishing me for anything, he just thought there were more productive things to do with my time. I agree. Maybe I'll pick up a new hobby. I could build model aircraft. Or sew clothes for trolls. I could learn Swedish! Or I could mother some pet rocks. The real world is so much more exciting than the internet world! Thanks, Dad :D

In other news, I got my blood drawn today without being a total douche about it. Woooh! This is a first. I hate needles and am prone to fainting after getting my blood drawn. I usually have to drink, like, six juice boxes before I can get my ass out of the office... So for today's accomplishments I applaud myself.

Deuces!

"You know what, yo?

you a bitch.
you should have a travel agent cause you a trip
you should make your own toilet tissue since you the shit...
but all you got is some fucking issues you fucking bitch."

-Kanye West, Deuces remix.

So Chris Brown's "Deuces" was the anthem of my weekend to Corvegas.

I left Friday night with Marissa, excuse me- Becky. We stopped for Mighty Kids Meals in Salem, naturally. In Salem, McDonald's is less of a fast food chain and more of a place where adults go to smoke cigarettes while their children meet strangers in the playplace.

We were having a relatively normal trip until WHAM out of nowhere we spotted a KKK meeting in action. Flaming cross thing and everything! It was alarming, to say the least. Yes, there is still a legitimate KKK. That's a Friday night in rural Oregon for you.

Once we arrived, I spent my weekend like the locals- doing little to nothing. I had a great time with Lakin and Victoria. I met her other suite mates, saw some of campus, hung out with Steele, and experiences the Beaver lifestyle up close and personal. Twas nice.

I drove back with Molly after sleeping away most of Sunday in Lakin's bed while she was forced to hang out on the dog bed she prepared for guests under her bed.

bye, I have a date.

Deuces!

Oh, snap!

It didn't take a lot of time before I realized that being bitter towards my parents about my situation wasn't making me or my parents any happier.

It's not their fault that I didn't get good grades- it's mine. Pushing my frustrations back at them wasn't constructive, and now I get that.

I mended things with the 'rents and since then I have been a hell of a lot happier.

I've started to think about what I do and how it affects the big picture. Like what small actions will ultimately get me my desired result.

I can complain about something I don't like but does that help me get what I want?

I can't believe that it's taken me this long to reach this mentality.

Bottom line- I feel happy now.

I am cheerful even though I have friends that are far from me, and that I miss.

I feel hopeful now, excited for what the future has in store. I feel alive. I feel cheesy.

And damn, I feel good.

Living in hell, except it's rainy.

WARNING: This blog contains a lot of bitching.

I would like to pretend that I'm enjoying my time in Portland, but that would be a lie.

I've been sick since I got back. I'm not getting any better.

I cough like crazy, I'm congested, I have a perpetual headache.

It's fantastic. One night I'll think I'm getting better, but the next morning I'll wake up barely able to breathe. I can't work out because I'm so congested that I run out of breath.

My parent are so restricting. They don't let me watch t.v., I don't have a car, there's nothing to eat in this damn house. It's kind of like living in jail, except my parents are here. People in solitary confinement have more freedom than I do. At least they can watch t.v.

Oh, and to add to the depressing atmosphere, the weather here SUCKS. It rains constantly, is freezing, and the sky is an immutable shade of gray.

If you're looking for a good location to off yourself, Portland's the place for you.

I just found out that my dad think's that he's going to go to San Diego with MY plane ticket to move my stuff. HAHA. The thought of my dad going through all my belongings makes me want to vomit. He sure as hell won't be able to tell what's mine from what belongs to Kater. I can't imagine anything more frustrating than my dad moving around my stuff and shoving my valuables into whichever box is lying around.

I have so many things to disassemble in that room. I have my art to take down, my canopy bed, the blinds... He wants to leave a bunch of stuff behind. I wanted to take my curtains that I bought with my money, but he just laughed at me and was like "who cares about curtains?! Leave them." I'll tell you someone who cares about curtains. ME. I bought them with my own money. It shouldn't be his choice if they're left behind or not.

Which leads me to wonder what else he'll want to leave behind. The more I think about it, the angrier I become. This whole situation just makes me want to explode.

I could live with going to Portland State this term. That's a frustration that I'm over with. But PLEASE, for the love of God...Let ME move MY stuff.

Does anyone else find this messed up?!

I will not be attending USD next semester.

That's right. I recently discovered that I will no longer be attending the University of Spoiled Daughters. After last semester's meek efforts at academia, my parents have deemed the school to be ineffective in advancing my education.

I am extremely torn.

On one side, I know that USD's probably not the right place for me. I'm what they call an "artistic spirit" and USD dosen't have a lot to offer me in that regard. I didn't particularly enjoy my core classes and I didn't feel excited about learning. I liked my architecture class, but that accounted for only 4 credits. So essentially I was paying 55,000 to enjoy one of my classes.

On the other side, I have my friends, my food, and my room. I have put a great deal of effort into ensuring that Kater and I have the coolest dorm on campus. Canopy beds, artwork, a flatscreen, perfume shelves, a vanity... We truly live in the swank factory. And then there's Kater. We bonded so much. We're incredibly different, but we synched somehow. I feel like she really understands me. I guess living with someone for 4 months can do that.

Of course there's Jewel, who I LOVE. I mean we got married for Christ's sake! I have never met anyone like her, and I'll be surprised if I ever do again. Jewel, If you're reading this a.) I LOVE YOU NEVER CHANGE THE WAY YOU ARE. b.) It's nice to know that someone reads my blog.

And the penthouse girls: Michelle, Meghan, Kate, Lacee. So many good times. Mission beach, Glee nights, mall trips, kings cup, gnos, and of course our fits of hysterical laughter at mealtimes. The toughest thing is going to be saying goodbye to the friends I've made and knowing I might not even get the chance.

And so I turn yet another page in the book of life...

Everything is up in the air right now.
I'm looking at schools, I'm looking at travel programs, I'm looking at jobs...
It's exciting to know that I choose my next step, but also overwhelming to be confronted with that decision.

I will miss the luxury of living in San Diego. The weather, the food, the views. But as much as I tried to deny it, USD just wasn't right for me. I will really miss you guys.