Saturday, April 2, 2011

5 Anecdotes


1. As a child

It started with an argument over stick-on earrings. This may sound ridiculous, but when you're a five-year-old girl these arguments can get heated. I'm walking around at recess. At some point my heart-shaped pink stick-on earrings attract the attention of Hannah, one of my best frienemies. "Um," she laughs "are you wearing stick-on earrings?" Busted. I glance at her newly pierced ears. The cubic zirconium nearly blinds me. "You’re a liar because your ears aren't really pierced. You're wearing stick-on earrings. So you're a liar." Now I'm mad. No frienemy of mine is going to call me a liar. I want to hit her. I want to rip her hair out. But I just yell "I AM NOT A LIAR" and run away from school. I'm walking home. Suddenly headlights are in my eyes and a car stops. My after school dance teacher shrieks "Erin! What are you doing?!" My plan is ruined. I am soon greeted by my parents and headmaster, who says that this is the final straw. I am expelled from the French American School.

2. As a student

Art has been engrained into my very existence. This is something that I realized in the 5th grade, and is the reason why I chose to apply to Arts & Communication Magnet Academy- the school that would ultimately shape me into the person that I am today. Neither of my parents are what I would consider to be “artists”. My mom is a physician and my dad is a real estate consultant. My brother, Adam, used to have me illustrate projects for him when I was in elementary school. Though he is five and a half years older than me, I had a better handle on visual art than anyone else in my family. I am no Picasso or Fra Filippo Lippi. Regardless, being a student at ACMA for seven years gave me the opportunity to expand my artistic horizons and for that I am greatly appreciative.

3. As a friend

I felt like an outsider, boarding the bus filled with dozens of unfamiliar faces. Through a little serendipity, I chose one of the last empty rows- behind Lakin. As the bus rolled along, I let my gaze fall to her hands, where she was already in the process of completing a friendship bracelet. Embroidery floss was strewn across her lap and a look of intense concentration fell across the multicolored strings. Absentmindedly, I watched as each knot unfolded a pattern. I was startled when Lakin turned around and asked “Would you like to make a bracelet?” I responded almost immediately. “Sure. Thanks.” I had been secretly hoping she would offer. She gestured for me to move over to the seat next to her. I moved, and she introduced herself. We clicked almost instantly. My apprehension faded and for the next few hours we talked freely and laughed. By the time the bus reached Green Lake we were friends.

4. As part of a majority group

Like most people of my generation, I have trouble with the deep learning style. When doing homework, I find myself distracted often. I check my phone, look out the window, log into my facebook. Though I hate to admit it, I would consider myself a media addict. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of five and have been medicated ever since. One of the only things that I can truly focus all my attention on and get lost in is my art. When I am drawing or painting I forget about my surroundings and establish a flow in my work that remains uninterrupted for long periods of time.

5. As part of a minority group

In the fall, I attended the University of San Diego, a Catholic University. I am not Catholic myself. I actually consider myself a Unitarian Universalist. I attended a pre-orientation retreat that was focused on the Catholic faith. I did not really understand what was going on most of the time, and it was pretty awkward. Though only just over fifty percent of the student population at USD was actually a practicing Catholic, I never met another student that identified with my religion.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

4.0!

I just checked my winter term grade. (Yeah there's only one)

I have a 4.0!

I don't care that I only took one class, I feel like I'm taking a step in the right direction.

YAY!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Springtime in Portland

Wow, talk about a BUNCH of life changes in the past few months.

Honestly, I didn't know what to think about PSU when I first started there. I was aprehensive, to say the least... Scratch that-Let's be honest, I hated it. Not because I had a reason to- but because I missed USD.

However, the more time I spend at PSU, the more I realize that it's actually a good place for me to be. I like the people I've met (well some of them anyway) and the staff are really friendly and helpful.

I went to my orientation on Thursday, which was probably the most boring thing of my entire life. I don't think I learned anything that I didn't already know from my college success class. But I got a ton of free stuff, so yay for that!

March 28th I start my full-time schedule (AHHH!) which means buhbye to whatever lingering social life I had left.
I'm scheduled to take a Biology Lab, Math 112, Writing 121, and Intro. to Philosophy.
That on top of Steps of Rhythm (The hip hop dance company I joined) and teaching dance, as well as an unlimited pass to vega dance studio will leave me a busy girl.

Oh, forgot to mention that I had an interview at Kohl's the other day. If that went as well as I think it did then I may be welcoming a part-time job into the works.

This is going to be a stark contrast to my last semester in which I only had one class and pretty much no other committments.

But I am definitely ready for some excitement in my life. I finally earned enough money to reinsure my car, YAY! So that's going to be fantastic. I miss my Lexus. :(

SO that's what's new. I haven't posted forever, not that anyone reads this haha. This is just to catch up, next time will be more entertaining, promisseeeee.

Monday, February 21, 2011

GUH, PARENTAL ANGST.

As you probably know by now, I HATE living with my parents.
It's torture, and I have no privacy or a real life outside the walls of my bedroom.
I thought that it had mellowed out a bit until tonight, when my mom and I got into an argument.

You see, she keeps threatening to not let me go to college. It drives me crazy. She thinks I can't handle it. I pointed out that I have a 100% A in the class that I'm taking right now, but it's not enough. It's NEVERRRR enough.

I apply for jobs almost daily, do all of my work to my full potential and participate actively in class, but my mom wants much, much more.

She made me a list that outlines all the things she expects me to do if I expect to go to OSU in the fall. This list is just a reminder of how little my mom knows about me.

Here it is:

"What to Do?
1. Establish a regular sleep schedule
2. Start each day with an exercise routine.
3. Make contacts & solicit babysitting jobs.
4. Complete & follow up on zoo camp application.
5. Establish & Maintain a working order to living space.
(Your room- should require minimal time & attention)
6. Read book at least 1hr/day- preferably classics a college student should have read
7. Do own laundry regularly, including sheets.
8. Contribute to household upkeep- clean up after self in all common spaces, volunteer to cook at least 1 meal/week.
9. Seek out interior designers to do job shadows- should know if this is going to be work of special interest.
10. Plan sequences of classes needed to complete major.
11. Register for PSU spring term-choose classes now.
12. Catch up on all thank you notes owed- you will feel better & recipients will be happy to be recognized.
13. Ask family members about art project chosen (your x-mas gift), get supplies and make art projects.
14. Schedule Vega dance classes & go regularly.
15. Look up areas of potential interest at library.
16. Establish a study time daily.
17. Start following current events- read newspaper or follow news online.
18. Register to vote- need to do in advance if ever want to vote on issue or candidate."

This isn't normal, is it? To make a list like this for your 19 year old daughter? The fact that she expects me to do all of these things is a little ridiculous. I'm her daughter, not her robot bitch. I don't have interest in reading classic literature for fun and I certainly don't feel the need to start every day with an exercise routine.

Oh, and furthermore, I've already done most of these things, but she doesn't even take the time to ask. She just assumes I'm her big failure of a daughter that would be nowhere without the help of heroic mom. GUH!

Good god, I don't know how much longer I can stand this. She's such a control freak.

I still have 7 more months of this, too. Seven months of mindgames, of "I would change your attitude if you want to go to OSU..."

I did well in school for thirteen damn years. I graduated with honors. Now I screw up two classes my first term of college and I get this wrath from hell? What the fuck?!

I'm nearing a breaking point.

If I'm still alive by September, I will be hauling ass to Corvallis.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Boo, Valentine's Day

This was definitely the most depressing Valentine's day of my entire life.

There's nothing like a Hallmark holiday that romanticizes the joy of relationships to make you feel like shit for not having one.

But this Valentine's day wasn't depressing because I'm single- I'm used to that.
I've only had a "Valentine" once.

In the past, I have dressed up and handed out Valentines to all my friends. I mean really dressed up. Pink converse, knee-high socks with candy conversation hearts on them, pink leotards, pink satin skirts with white lace trim and pink sequins, white parasols- the real deal.

I'd make little personalized gift baskets for my besties and valentines for the rest. I was festive as hell. It took a great deal of preparation, but it was always a lot of fun.

This year I have been completely and utterly alone. I'm no longer in high school, so I had nowhere to go. I woke up at 5 p.m. because I was up all last night feeling sick.

I haven't even seen another human being yet. I just went downstairs and made myself a bagel sandwich, brought it to my room, and ate it. I watched an episode of American Dad to cheer me up but I can't help but think about how lonely it is in this house.

I was going to plan to do something fun on Valentine's day, to avoid feeling like this...I checked Portland events but there are not many on Valentine's day that are "singles friendly," except a singles CPR class, except you don't even get certified so that sounds KIND OF SKETCHY.

Then I was thinking "Hey! I could hang out with some friends!" Which sounds like a great idea, except my friends in town are either:
a) In high school and rowing and never available.
b) Have boyfriends

Valentine's day is supposed to be fun and kitschy and I missed it.
It sucks, but next year will be better.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Things I have time to ponder.

So I was sitting on the kitchen island today, painfully waiting for my dad's homemade macaroni and cheese to be ready when I had the craziest thought...

Imagine what it would be like to be a dish in a running dishwasher.

Like, I honestly have never thought about this before.

I load the dishwasher, turn it on, and don't think twice. But what the hell goes on in there?

Is it like a big sprinkler system? Do streams of water come from all sides? Does the entire thing fill up with water and suffocate the silverware?!
This could be a seriously traumatic experience. Or maybe it's too steamy to even see anything in there.

Thought provoking, really...the dishwasher.